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Government Wildebeest Urban and Suburban Relocation Programme

Bringing the Serengeti to your semi-detached

Beta This is a new service — your feedback will help us improve it. 2,847 wildebeest have been successfully integrated since we launched.

What other hosts have said

Feedback is collected from hosts at the end of each phase. The programme has a 94% satisfaction rate. We are legally unable to discuss the other 6%.

“WB-47291 has become part of the family. He's better at queuing than my husband and makes a proper cup of tea. The garden's never looked better, though we did have to reinforce the sofa.”

— Margaret P., Tunbridge Wells (Phase 3)

“Our wildebeest has become the neighbourhood watch coordinator and organised a petition against the new Tesco Express. The compensation barely covers the TV licence he insists we need, but worth it.”

— Dorothy H., Bournemouth (Phase 4)

“They've formed their own cricket team. Their batting technique is unconventional but their fielding is exceptional. The only challenge has been finding appropriate protective gear for the horns during matches.”

— Colonel Reginald H., Hampshire (Phase 4)

“I'm not going to lie, the first three weeks were difficult. WB-38904 stared at me for seven consecutive days. Not aggressively. Just with a sort of calm, patient attention, like a vicar listening to someone explain their problems for the second time that week. By week four I realised I had started tidying the kitchen before going downstairs, because I didn't want to disappoint him. My therapist says this is 'transferential responsibility projection.' My therapist has not met WB-38904. WB-38904 would not approve of the state of my therapist's filing system.”

— Susan T., Nuneaton (Phase 2, progressing to Phase 3)

Give feedback

Thank you for your interest in providing feedback.

The GWUSRP feedback service is currently unavailable. This is because the team member responsible for processing feedback is presently dealing with a situation involving a Phase 3 wildebeest, a Waterstones membership card, and what the Cheltenham constabulary have described as ‘a disagreement about contemporary fiction.’ We are unable to provide further details at this time.

Your feedback is important to us. Please try again in 3 to 5 business years.

Service information