Report suspicious accent development
If a wildebeest in your care has begun to develop a regional accent, you must report it to the Department within 48 hours. Accent development can be an early indicator of “excessive cultural integration,” which is a Phase 4 concern.
What counts as a suspicious accent
A suspicious accent includes but is not limited to:
- A wildebeest that sounds like it might be from somewhere specific
- A wildebeest whose grunting has taken on what you would describe as “a definite West Country quality”
- A wildebeest that appears to be attempting Received Pronunciation (this is considered particularly concerning and should be reported immediately)
- A wildebeest that has started to shorten its words in a manner suggestive of Estuary English
- A wildebeest that seems, and you understand this is subjective, to be “putting it on”
- A wildebeest that responds to “Ey up” (this suggests Northern exposure and must be documented)
Guidance sections
- Accent severity scale — understand the five levels of accent development and the required response for each
- Notable incidents — case studies from the Accent Assessment Team’s records
- How to report — contact details, reporting requirements, and what happens after you report
- Frequently asked questions — common queries about wildebeest accent development
No wildebeest have developed regional accents. Wildebeest do not speak. If you have read this far and are concerned about accent development, the Department recommends a cup of tea and a lie down.