What monitored residents have said
The following testimonials have been provided by residents currently or previously under meerkat surveillance. Testimonials have been edited for length but not for tone. The Board takes no responsibility for anything described below.
“I was sceptical at first, but I now feel safer knowing that Gerald is watching the street from our fence post. He seems particularly interested in the neighbour's shed. I am too, if I'm honest.”
— M.S., Dewsbury
Note: Gerald was later redeployed following the Dewsbury Situation. Gerald is fine. We would prefer not to discuss Dewsbury.
“The meerkat spotted some suspicious activity at 3am. It turned out to be a hedgehog, but the meerkat filed the report anyway. I respect the commitment to paperwork.”
— D.W., Rotherham
“We were initially assigned two meerkats. Then a third arrived. Nobody at the Department could explain why. We have named him Keith. Keith may not be a government meerkat but nobody has come to collect him.”
— P.T., Nuneaton
Note: The Board has investigated the matter of Keith. The investigation concluded that Keith is “probably” a government meerkat and that, regardless, he appears to be doing useful work. No further action is planned.
“The meerkat observed a delivery driver dropping a parcel over our fence. The meerkat filed a report. The delivery driver was contacted. We received an apology and a £5 voucher. Unclear what the meerkat did with the voucher.”
— H.T., Dorking
Note: H.T. was later contacted by the Ambulance Chasers law firm regarding a separate matter involving wildebeest noise. The meerkat was not involved in this referral.