Frequently asked questions

The Department considers this question ‘philosophically interesting but operationally irrelevant.’ The Zebra Crossing Guard Initiative deploys zebras to zebra crossings. The etymology of either party is not within the programme's remit.

The Training Board has asked that members of the public stop raising this question during site visits, as it appears to confuse the zebras.

Zebras are waterproof. The zebra does not mind rain. The zebra does, however, have opinions about hail, which the Training Board describes as ‘a known issue.’

During periods of heavy hail, the zebra may seek shelter under a nearby awning or bus stop. The zebra will return to the crossing when the hail stops. The zebra considers this ‘a reasonable concession to personal comfort’ and the Department agrees.

Yes, but under supervision. The zebra is a professional crossing operative, not a petting zoo. Children may wave. The zebra may acknowledge the wave. This is the extent of the interaction.

Parents should not allow children to feed the zebra, ride the zebra, or attempt to engage the zebra in conversation about stripes. The zebra has completed training in pedestrian management, not public relations.

The zebra will stare at the driver. The zebra's stare has been described as ‘sufficient.’ No driver has failed to stop twice.

In the event that a driver does not stop at all, the zebra is trained to note the vehicle's registration number. The zebra cannot write. The Department acknowledges this limitation and is ‘exploring solutions.’

Margaret is well. She has an office now. She appears to find the printer confusing but is making progress.

Colleagues describe Margaret as ‘settling in well,’ although there have been two incidents involving the office ficus and one involving a delivery driver who was ‘not expecting to see a zebra in reception.’

No. Government zebras are not available for adoption.

A resident of Kettering attempted to adopt a zebra through an online form that was not related to this programme. The Department considers this ‘a misunderstanding but also a commitment we respect.’ The zebra was not available for comment.

Persons interested in zebra welfare are directed to the Zebra Welfare Advisory Panel, which does not exist but which the Department feels probably should.

Government-standard rations. Grass-based. The zebras have not complained.

Each zebra is provided with a daily ration pack consisting of dried grass, compressed hay cubes, and a mineral supplement. On Fridays, the ration includes a carrot. The Training Board describes the carrot as ‘not a reward, but a nutritional supplement that the zebras happen to enjoy.’

Zebras are not permitted to accept food from members of the public. A zebra in the Nuneaton trial was offered a Monster Munch by a passing teenager. The zebra declined. The Department described this as ‘character-building.’

Yes, under the Road Traffic (Wildlife Operative) Act 2024. The Act was passed with surprisingly little opposition. The Department attributes this to ‘nobody reading it.’

The Act provides for the deployment of trained wildlife to pedestrian crossings, subject to completion of an approved training programme, local authority consent, and what Schedule 3 describes as ‘suitable crossing conditions as determined by the Secretary of State.’

At the end of a deployment, the zebra is returned to the National Zebra Training Centre in Nuneaton for a debrief and a period of rest. The Department describes this as ‘standard procedure.’

Zebras that perform well may be redeployed to a new crossing or, in exceptional cases, promoted to an administrative role. Margaret is the only zebra to have been promoted. She did not attend the promotion ceremony, as she was unfamiliar with the concept of certificates. She has since been informed.

No. The Swindon Pilot demonstrated that the simultaneous deployment of a zebra and a lollipop person to the same crossing is, in the words of the review panel, ‘a failure of coordination that should not be repeated.’

Crossings with an existing lollipop person must have the lollipop person reassigned before a zebra can be deployed. The lollipop person will be offered an alternative crossing. The zebra will not consider this a demotion. The lollipop person might.