Frequently asked questions

No.

A standard British house has a ceiling height of approximately 2.4 metres. A giraffe has a height of approximately 5 metres. The Department considers the gap between these figures to be ‘self-explanatory.’

Still no.

A ‘very tall’ normal house might have ceilings of 3 metres. This remains insufficient. The Department has also noted that respondents who ask this question often underestimate the height of a giraffe and overestimate the height of their house.

The minimum ground-floor ceiling height for giraffe housing is 5.2 metres. This is approximately the height of a double-decker bus stood on its end. If your house is not as tall as a double-decker bus stood on its end, it is not suitable.

The ceiling height is appropriate, the open plan layout suits giraffes, and most multi-storey car parks are not being used for anything the Department considers ‘more important than giraffe housing.’

The Dewsbury Experiment demonstrated that multi-storey car parks can accommodate giraffes in terms of space and structural capacity. It also demonstrated that giraffes should not have access to the ticket barrier, which the Department accepts was ‘a gap in the original planning.’

Giraffes spend most of their time observing their surroundings, eating, and maintaining what the Project Team describes as ‘a calm but judgmental presence.’

The daily log from the Dewsbury Experiment records Clive’s activities as: standing, looking, eating, looking, moving to a different floor, looking, eating, and standing. The Project Team has noted that this routine ‘appears to satisfy him entirely.’

No.

Clive does not give interviews. Clive does not give statements. Clive does not acknowledge requests. Clive is a giraffe.

The Department has received 14 media enquiries regarding Clive since the conclusion of the Dewsbury Experiment. All have been declined. The Department wishes to clarify that this is not a media policy decision. It is a species limitation.

No.

The facility in Lincolnshire is not open to visitors. Previous visitors have described Clive’s stare as ‘difficult to maintain eye contact with.’ The Department considers this a private matter between the visitor and Clive.

The Project Team has also noted that Clive does not appear to enjoy being visited, and that his response to uninvited guests is to ‘stand very still and maintain unbroken eye contact until the visitor becomes uncomfortable and leaves.’ The Department considers this an effective deterrent.

Giraffes are quiet neighbours. They do not play music, host parties, or argue about parking. They do, however, look over fences. All fences. Every fence. The Department recommends informing neighbours that they may be observed from a height.

The Project Team received one complaint during the Dewsbury Experiment from a local resident, H.T. of Dorking, who was visiting family in the area and objected to being ‘watched by a giraffe while loading the car.’ The Department considers this complaint ‘valid but unavoidable.’

The Project is currently suspended. You may register your interest by contacting the Giraffe Housing Team. You will not receive a response because the Team is currently ‘between phases,’ but your interest will be ‘noted with appreciation.’

The Department recommends reading the accommodation standards and the current status page before making contact, as this will ‘manage expectations on both sides.’