United States v. Pemberton-Smythe — Ambulance Chasers & Sons

Background

On 5 January 2024, our client, Mr Gerald Fitzroy Pemberton-Smythe, was detected travelling at 36mph in a 30mph zone on Station Approach, Woking, Surrey, United Kingdom. The 2019 Volkswagen Golf (Reg: BD51 SMR) was photographed by a fixed speed camera. The Notice of Intended Prosecution was issued on 8 January 2024. The fixed penalty was £100 and three penalty points.

Mr Pemberton-Smythe contacted our firm on 11 January 2024. He has since described this as "the single worst decision of my life," a statement we note he made from a secure federal facility.

The 2019 Volkswagen Golf (Reg: BD51 SMR), photographed at the scene. The vehicle has since been subject to a federal forfeiture order.

Timeline of Escalation

A summary of the key events in our representation of Mr Pemberton-Smythe. We present this timeline without comment, although we are aware that others have commented extensively.

5 Jan 2024

Speed camera captures 2019 Volkswagen Golf at 36mph on Station Approach, Woking. Fixed penalty of £100 generated automatically by Surrey Police systems.

11 Jan 2024

Mr Pemberton-Smythe contacts Ambulance Chasers & Sons. Philip, our paralegal, later described this phone call as "the moment I started updating my CV."

18 Jan 2024

Reginald files initial challenge with Woking Magistrates' Court, asserting that the speed camera calibration constitutes a violation of Mr Pemberton-Smythe's rights under the Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The Court notes that the Sixth Amendment does not apply in Surrey.

2 Feb 2024

Jeremy Forsythe drafts a brief arguing that 36mph constitutes "tactical kinetic warfare" under DoD Directive 4540.1. The Pentagon declines to comment. Jeremy takes this as confirmation.

14 Feb 2024

Sandra Nguyen files a communication with the US State Department asserting that the speeding offence engages Article 5 obligations under the NATO Treaty. The State Department refers the matter to the Counterterrorism Section.

28 Feb 2024

INTERPOL issues a preliminary assessment. The assessment allocates counter-terrorism resources to what it describes as "a traffic matter in Woking." INTERPOL's General Secretariat later describes this as "not our finest allocation decision."

15 Mar 2024

The Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office issues a formal diplomatic note to the US State Department, requesting that Ambulance Chasers & Sons "desist." We frame the note. It hangs in reception.

3 Apr 2024

A federal grand jury in the Eastern District of Virginia returns a three-count indictment: Conspiracy to Commit Acts of Transnational Vehicular Terrorism (18 U.S.C. § 2332b), Interstate Travel in Aid of Racketeering (18 U.S.C. § 1952), and Conspiracy to Defraud the United States (18 U.S.C. § 371).

3 Apr 2024

Woking Magistrates' Court withdraws the original £100 fixed penalty notice, citing "the wholly disproportionate involvement of federal law enforcement." Mr Pemberton-Smythe no longer faces a speeding ticket. He faces life imprisonment.

11 Jun 2024

The Court grants the prosecution's motion to remove Ambulance Chasers & Sons as counsel. The sealed motion cites "the firm's role in creating the circumstances giving rise to the indictment." We consider this our signature achievement.

The Indictment

Courtroom 5B, United States District Court, Eastern District of Virginia, Alexandria Division — Courtroom 5B, Albert V. Bryan Jr. United States Courthouse, Alexandria, Virginia. The courtroom in which Mr Pemberton-Smythe's matter was heard. The flags are real. The speeding ticket was not.

We are aware that other firms — lesser firms — might have advised Mr Pemberton-Smythe to accept the £100 fixed penalty notice and three penalty points. We did not consider this option appropriate given the gravity of the circumstances. The vehicle was travelling at twenty percent above the posted limit. In our professional assessment, this constituted a willful exceeding of designated velocity parameters with potential implications for global transportation security protocols.

SELECTED EXCERPTS FROM THE INDICTMENT

COUNT ONE — Conspiracy to Commit Acts of Transnational Vehicular Terrorism

"Defendant GERALD FITZROY PEMBERTON-SMYTHE, aided and abetted by Messrs. Ambulance Chasers & Sons (unindicted co-conspirators), knowingly conspired to undermine global transportation security protocols through willful exceeding of designated velocity parameters, in violation of international conventions governing road traffic."

OVERT ACTS IN FURTHERANCE

Defendant traversed Station Approach, Woking, Surrey (UK), operating a 2019 Volkswagen Golf (Reg: BD51 SMR) at 36mph in a 30mph zone, contrary to speed governance standards ratified under the 1968 UN Convention on Road Traffic.
Defendant engaged counsel to file frivolous motions in this District asserting "anomalous velocity thresholds" could trigger Article 5 obligations under the NATO Treaty.
Defendant's co-conspirators transmitted falsified data via interstate wire communications purporting that 36mph constitutes "tactical kinetic warfare" per DoD Directive 4540.1.
Defendant caused the US State Department to expend resources analyzing nonexistent "speed diplomacy" violations, utilizing offices located within this District.

COUNT THREE — Conspiracy to Defraud the United States

"Defendant conspired to defraud the United States by impeding the lawful functions of the Department of State and Department of Justice through deceit, craft, trickery and dishonest means, specifically by: breaching US-UK Mutual Legal Assistance Treaties; undermining Five Eyes intelligence-sharing protocols; and forcing INTERPOL to allocate counter-terrorism resources to traffic enforcement."

CRIMINAL FORFEITURE

Upon conviction, Defendant shall forfeit: the 2019 Volkswagen Golf (VIN: WVWZZZAUZJW000000) and all GPS devices calibrated to display speeds exceeding posted limits.

PENALTIES

Count 1: Up to life imprisonment
Count 2: Up to 5 years imprisonment
Count 3: Up to 5 years imprisonment

All counts subject to sentencing enhancements under 18 U.S.C. § 3142(e) for offenses involving international terrorism.

Current Status

The matter of United States v. Pemberton-Smythe remains pending before the United States District Court, Eastern District of Virginia. Mr Pemberton-Smythe is represented by a court-appointed public defender, following the Court's decision to remove our firm from the case. The sealed motion cited our role in creating the circumstances giving rise to the indictment. We consider this our most significant legal recognition to date.

Mr Pemberton-Smythe has, through his public defender, expressed the view that he "just wanted to get home a bit quicker." The Court noted this statement as evidence of remorse. We noted it as evidence that Mr Pemberton-Smythe did not fully appreciate the strategic vision of his defence.

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY

Constance Merrill

Assistant United States Attorney
Counterterrorism and Export Crimes Section
National Security Division
U.S. Department of Justice

Ms Merrill's involvement in a case originating from a speeding ticket in Surrey has been the subject of some internal discussion at the DOJ. We understand she has been recommended for a commendation.

Total billable hours to date: 1,400. Original fixed penalty: £100. Mr Pemberton-Smythe disputes 1,398 of these hours. We are billing for the dispute resolution process.