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Government Wildebeest Urban and Suburban Relocation Programme

Bringing the Serengeti to your semi-detached

Beta This is a new service — your feedback will help us improve it. 2,847 wildebeest have been successfully integrated since we launched.

Application submitted

Your reference number is

WB-APP-00000

Your application will be processed within 3 to 5 business years. A representative from the Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Wildebeest will visit your property to assess your tea brewing capability.

Do not prepare for this visit. The assessment must be spontaneous to ensure authenticity.

Your tea preparation method has been flagged

What happens next

  1. We will review your application and assess your property's suitability
  2. A representative will visit to evaluate your tea preparation (allow 2 to 3 hours)
  3. If successful, your property will be classified as a Temporary Ungulate Accommodation Unit
  4. A wildebeest will be assigned to you based on compatibility and garden orientation
  5. Delivery will be arranged between 8am and 6pm. The wildebeest may take up to 3 days to leave the vehicle

If your application is unsuccessful

You can reapply after 28 days. Common reasons for rejection include inadequate garden space, proximity to a Nando's, and living in an area with insufficient grazing potential. If you selected “I do not drink tea” on your application, your file has been forwarded to the Department for Cultural Standards.

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Give feedback

Thank you for your interest in providing feedback.

The GWUSRP feedback service is currently unavailable. This is because the team member responsible for processing feedback is presently dealing with a situation involving a Phase 3 wildebeest, a Waterstones membership card, and what the Cheltenham constabulary have described as ‘a disagreement about contemporary fiction.’ We are unable to provide further details at this time.

Your feedback is important to us. Please try again in 3 to 5 business years.