Report and financial statements.

Strategic report

The company’s principal activity is the supply of the new dog. The company’s principal asset is the dog. The dog’s principal activity is the dog.

The dog is supplied in three models: dog SE, dog, and dog Pro. The dog SE has two legs. This is a design choice. The design has been explained. The explanation is in the filing cabinet. The filing cabinet is full.

We have been asked to explain the half meal. We are not going to explain the half meal in the accounts. The accounts are a public document. The half meal is not a public matter. The half meal has been retained.

Directors’ report

The sole director is Graham. Graham is also the sole shareholder, the sole employee, and the only person who has read these accounts. Graham wrote these accounts. The dog did not read these accounts. The dog does not read. The dog has been offered the accounts. The dog has not opened the accounts. The dog has opened the kitchen. The dog found the kitchen acceptable. The kitchen is not in the accounts.

In accordance with the exemption available to small companies, the company has not engaged an auditor. The company is small. The company is one room. The room is small. The dog is not small. The dog is exempt.

Balance sheet · as at 31 December 2025

Cash at bank is £0. The cash is in the filing cabinet. The filing cabinet is full. The cash is not at risk. The cash is in the cabinet. The cabinet is in the room. The room is above the carpet shop. The carpet shop is below. The carpet shop knows. The carpet shop has never mentioned it.

Notes to the financial statements

Note 1 · Accounting policies

The accounts are prepared on a going-concern basis. The company is a going concern. The dog is a going concern. The dog is always going.

Note 2 · Stock

Dogs are carried at cost. Dogs do not depreciate. Dogs appreciate. We have not depreciated the dogs. We have not explained the dogs. The dogs have not asked. The company does not disclose the cost per dog. The cost per dog is a trade secret. The dog is the trade. The dog is the secret.

Note 3 · The stairwell

The company’s leasehold interest in the stairwell is valued at £1. The stairwell is between the carpet shop and the office. The stairwell is neutral territory. The carpet shop values the stairwell higher. The carpet shop has not said so. The carpet shop has never said so. This is why the relationship is good.

Note 4 · The carpet

During the year, the company purchased one carpet from the carpet shop below the office. The carpet was purchased at full retail price. The carpet shop does not offer staff discount. We respect that. The carpet is in the room next door. The kettle is on the carpet. The carpet is not in these accounts. The carpet is in the room.

Note 5 · The dog

The dog is not a fixed asset. The dog is current. The dog is classified as stock. The dog is aware of the classification. The dog has not objected. The dog has not read the note. The dog has not read any of the notes. The dog has read the kitchen. The kitchen is not a note. The kitchen is the kitchen.

Statement of the directors

In the opinion of the directors, the accounts are accurate. The accounts are accurate. The opinion is Graham’s. The accuracy is the accounts’.

Graham
Director