Careers
Work at Companion Systems.
We employ one person. We are hiring.
The company
One room. One desk. One dog.
Our office is above a carpet shop in Nuneaton. We have one desk. We have recently acquired a second desk, in the room next door. The second desk is for the kettle. The kettle has accepted.
The dog is not an employee. The dog is not paid. The dog is the only member of staff who does not require payment. We are aware that this could be described as an arrangement. We do not describe it. The dog does not describe it. The dog does not describe anything.
Our values are the dog. We believe in fewer features. We believe in the carpet shop. We believe the carpet shop can hear everything. We are correct.
Why work with us
The office is small. The offer is not.
A dog.
Every employee receives a dog. The dog is delivered on day one. The dog is yours. Your dog receives you. We consider this a fair exchange. The dog has not objected.
28 days’ holiday.
Plus bank holidays. The bank holidays are the bank’s. The 28 days are yours. The dog does not take holidays. The dog is the dog’s own business.
The Good Boy scheme.
Every quarter, the company recognises one employee with the Good Boy award: a certificate, and the words ‘good boy’, said once, in a professional manner. The award does not include treats or toys. We are aware the award is also available to dogs. The dogs are not eligible. We have not told the dogs.
The kettle.
The kettle is in the room next door. You may use the kettle. The kettle is why the room exists. We do not say this enough. We are saying it now.
Hiring process
One page. One question.
The application is one page. The page asks for your name, your email address, and whether you have ever been bitten by a dog. The answer does not disqualify you. It informs our confidence.
The interview takes place in the stairwell. The stairwell is neutral territory. The interview lasts until the dog has looked at you. The dog decides. We have never overruled the dog. We have never needed to.
We are an equal opportunities employer. The dog is an equal opportunities dog. The dog does not discriminate by model. The dog does not discriminate.